Causes

I don't remember where, but at a tender age, I overheard that adult men know how to properly take a girl's virginity. At the time, I didn't even understand what it meant, but I remembered it.

Years passed, and this theory was confirmed. Also in theory. None of my peers could even court properly, so I automatically decided that having anything to do with them in bed was out of the question. And I waited. First for the right age, then for a prince. And then, Vitalik happened to me.

Smart, confident, mature. In just a couple of dates, he managed to turn my head. I was so in love that I didn't notice anything around me. Flowers, dates,

hints began. Kisses in secluded places, smoothly transitioning to open ones, in public. And such that everyone envied me. I caught malicious and jealous glances whenever I was near my suitor. And young guys looked with hungry eyes, devouring my body, which they would never get.

And, after a couple of months, I gave in. I decided to do everything. After a long romantic evening, we went to Vitalik's place for the first time. To his huge three-room apartment. The furnishings showed he was a successful man. In the large room, in the most prominent place, was a photo of us that I had already forgotten about. In several vases, there were flowers arranged along the way to the bedroom. And there, a huge bed with silk sheets awaited me.

Dim light. My dress falls to the floor. My man asks me to undress him, and I obey. He's in no hurry, and I appreciate that. Everything is going as it should. After all, he is that very adult man who knows everything. Vitalik looks at me as if I were a deity. Sees my embarrassment and insists that I take off his underwear. I'm trembling all over, but I squat down and do as told. A cock sways before my face. I don't know if it's big or small. I'm seeing this for the first time. But I like it. Vitalik takes it in his hand and asks me not to move and to open my mouth slightly. I feel a flush of heat. I part my lips and look into his eyes. The head touches my lips and moves from side to side across them.

— You will be only mine! Get used to it! Because this cock will be inside you! In all your holes!" – and after these words, the head penetrates my mouth, touching my tongue.

I'm still embarrassed by the words. The cock moves in my mouth, reaching only to the middle of my tongue; Vitalik doesn't penetrate further. A new unfamiliar taste, the smell of a male body.

— I want you to learn to suck it. Come to my work and give me a blowjob. And then, flushed and embarrassed, ask me to take you on the desk. And after sex, stir the minds of my subordinates with your slightly disheveled appearance." – a lustful look, a hand stroking my hair, and these words made me tremble even more. It became so wet between my legs. I felt lubrication flowing out of me and moaned almost inaudibly.

Vitalik ran his cock over my lips once more, then lifted me by the shoulders and started kissing me. On the way to the bed, he took off my bra. Laid me on the sheets and pulled down my panties.

— Ah, the little hairs will need to go!" – he smiled, walked to the nightstand, and took out a condom. "I want you, sweetie, to learn how to put it on me with your little mouth.

Vitalik stood next to my face and demonstrated how to put on a condom. Then he moved to my feet, spread them wide apart, and bent them slightly.

— How I want you!" – he exhaled, examining my body, lay on top, and pressing the head against the entrance, pinned my hands to the bed.

The head began to squeeze inside with great difficulty. Even though I was wet, it stubbornly refused to sink in. Maybe the condom was to blame, I don't know. Vitalik tried, making short and long movements, but it was very tough going. And it started to hurt me. And when I was ready to howl in pain...

— Well, the head is already inside!" – he declared proudly.

— It hurts!" – I whispered.

— The first time always hurts! You'll have to endure a little!" – the all-knowing man kissed me on the lips and continued the torture.

I moaned painfully and couldn't hold back tears. The cock squeezed in with tiny steps, causing me incredible pain. I no longer knew what was worse, the thrusts or the slow penetration. And, after a while, I simply stopped distinguishing the movements inside. Being an atheist, I prayed to all the gods I knew for it to end quickly.

— You're so tight that it only went in halfway!" – Vitalik joyfully informed me. "But we're in no hurry, are we?!

I shook my head, confirming that was so, although I desperately wanted to scream that it was time for me to go home. And then the worst began – the backward movement. The cock came out of me a little faster and began repeating the previous execution. Everything inside dried up. I was afraid to even think about what was happening there, in my poor, tormented body. But Vitalik didn't last long. And he, thank something or other, came fairly quickly. And I took the opportunity and squeezed my legs tighter.

We lay in bed. The man held me tightly, and I sobbed inside, trying not to show my disappointment.

— There was no blood!" – he said a little sadly. "But I believe you were a girl. Only girls are this tight. I love you and want you to move in with me.

These words made me look at everything that had happened a little differently. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be?! Maybe his cock is too big for me, and I'll get used to it? Indeed, the first time hurts, everyone says so. For some more, for others less. I love this man, and that's the most important thing.

And I agreed to move in with him. A few days later we moved my things, and my torment continued from the very first night. I actively took up studying the art of blowjobs, as I realized I risked dying from the pain. As for the butt, that topic remained forbidden, no matter how much my common-law husband tried to persuade me, emphasizing his new status with great pride.

Over time, the pain became less, and then went away completely. But I didn't have an orgasm. Not after a few months, not after a year. However, I learned to fake it. My throat made such moans that Vitalik was one hundred percent sure he was the most mind-blowing lover in the world.

I studied articles on the internet. Consulted with online doctors. Even with some dubious consultants from a sex shop website. And I came to the conclusion that my body was incapable of experiencing orgasm. The cock now moved inside me calmly, penetrating to its full length. Vitalik tried to change positions. So, only one thing remained. I was either frigid or defective.

Faking love in bed, I realized that in everything else, I was also starting to fake. And if an hour can be endured, daily irritation becomes too heavy a burden. And confessing to my husband that I had been pretending all this time and asking for advice was already too late. And in every sense. I no longer loved him. I just lived with him.

He constantly tried to control me. In absolutely everything. Didn't let me work. And he himself gradually lost interest in my body. And one fine moment, I realized he had someone on the side. His clothes smelled slightly of women's perfume. And, returning home, my husband hurried to take a shower. Not to mention that we hadn't had sex for over a month.

But I couldn't leave him. My mother got married a second time, and I was clearly superfluous. Only my grandmother in a remote village remained. But I definitely didn't want to go there. And I couldn't return to the dorm, as I had finished my studies. And Vitalik constantly reminded me that I belonged to him, that I was his, and he wouldn't give me to anyone. Why he said this I didn't know, and I didn't care. I knew my place and just tried to fit in. I had no time to think about the rest.

One day, I waited for him to leave and, as usual, went to the store to buy food according to the list made for me. I felt so bad that I forgot my wallet. And went back for it. I slowly climbed the stairs, at risk of bursting into tears at any moment. And the tears flowed just as a guy living one floor below came out onto the landing. He put the key in the lock and turned in my direction.

— Is everything okay with you?!" – the neighbor asked. I looked at him and shook my head negatively. "Did someone hurt you?" – he left the door and, taking a step towards me, took me by the shoulders. I shook my head again. "Then what's wrong with you?!

It had been a long time since I'd seen such a look. And I doubt Vitalik ever looked at me like that. In this awkward moment, this guy was the embodiment of everything I had never received. I had already opened my mouth to say something, but at the last moment I caught myself, realizing I should get home faster.

I saw his slightly parted lips and, closing my eyes, quickly kissed them. And just as quickly pulled away. Lost and frightened, I raised my gaze to the confused guy. For a fraction of a second he hesitated, then returned my kiss. With such passion as I had never known.

Behind my back was first the door, then the wall. Keys fell somewhere with a clang and the lock clicked. I didn't open my eyes. I allowed my clothes to be torn off and did the same in return, striving not to break away from the tender and warm lips giving me a ghostly hope for something good.

I don't remember how we ended up in bed. I don't know in what order we scattered our clothes. I didn't care who this guy was. I wanted him, and he wanted me. The sheets tangled between our bodies as we adjusted to the bed. Strong hands explored me up and down several times, sometimes causing pleasant pain, sometimes gently stroking and making me change position. I was breathless, not letting go of the guy's mouth. I waited. Waited, I myself didn't know for what. Most likely pain. Or a new emptiness, after which another bout of disappointment awaited me. I was already prepared and mentally convinced myself with the phrase "everything will be fine." And then, one sharp movement, and I felt so much that my breath convulsively broke off, and the guy tore himself from my lips and stared at me frightened with his blue eyes.

— Is everything okay?!" – he was somewhere very deep inside me.

— Yes!" – I exhaled and took a breath, continuing to breathe.

The guy smiled slightly and pulled back. As if thousands of short discharges accompanied his cock inside me. I truly felt what had been forbidden before. And how he stretches me, and how he fills me, and the so-desired friction and sliding. EVERYTHING. The guy smiled again and pressed against my lips. Now the kisses were unhurried. Slow and tender. Partly with tongue, and sometimes just to appreciate the taste. I moved to meet him, something I had been afraid of like fire before. I surrendered to new feelings, fearing that the moment of joy would pass without concluding anything. He threw one of my legs over his shoulder, the movements became deeper and sharper. And I moaned, unable to contain the emotions overflowing me. I wrapped my other leg around the guy's body, offering myself to the penetrations. And at the brightest moment, my eyes flew open, seeing the world in a completely new light. I opened up and contracted all at once, and saw the response in the blue eyes. The guy's body shuddered, and a pleasant warmth spread inside me. He leaned down and carefully kissed me. My return kiss was unsteady, and the guy felt it. Making another tender movement with his lips, he looked at me, freezing and not moving. And I was preparing to cry and was looking for an explanation for what had happened.

— Promise you won't freak out?!" – my lover asked uncertainly.

— I'll try!" – I answered just as uncertainly.

The guy smoothly left my body and, pulling part of the sheet over himself, lay down next to me so he could see my face.

— What are you thinking about?" – finally, he broke the silence.

— About what just happened!" – I didn't want to lie anymore.

— I won't tell him!" – he averted his gaze.

— It's in your interest not to tell! Although I don't care if he finds out or not!" – as soon as I tried to smile, tears rolled down my cheeks.

— Do you love him?!" – an excellent question. I shook my head. "Then why are you with him?

— It's all complicated!" – I swallowed the lump rising in my throat. The time for talking was not right. At least from my perspective. "I have to go!

I got up, not even caring that the sheet no longer covered my body from the gaze of a man I barely knew.

— Are you on your period?!" – he asked, surprised.

— No!" – I was equally surprised and turned around.

The guy removed the sheet, and I saw a stain on the fabric and traces of blood on an impressive cock. Now I could definitely say that Vitalik's was quite small. And my eyes, apparently, had become too wide.

— Are you sure?" – the guy got out of bed, looking at me worriedly.

— One hundred percent!" – my period ended a week ago. Where did the blood come from then? Although, with such a cock... "I'll buy you new sheets...

— I'm not worried about them, believe me!" – he came up to me. "I thought I imagined it...

— What?!" – maybe I'm terminally ill.

— That... you live with your husband, after all!" – his look scared me more and more.

— Yes! What did you imagine?!" – I was starting to freak out.

— I imagined!" – the guy tried to hug me.

— Are you mocking me?! What's wrong with me?!" – I stepped aside.

— Everything is right with you! I felt resistance... and now there's blood on the sheets..." – he didn't dare finish the conclusion.

— I don't know what to say!" – I honestly admitted. "I need to go home!" – I quickly left the room and started getting dressed, picking up my clothes along the way, accompanied by the apartment's owner.

— Wait!" – the guy blocked my path, right at the door.

— What?" – I was afraid to raise my eyes.

— Will I see you again?" – he bent down to meet my gaze.

— I don't know!" – I looked at him briefly and closed my eyelids.

I no longer knew or understood anything. Everything was new and incomprehensible. And there were enough questions in my head to think about the answers in proud solitude. When I could cry or not cry at all, but that would already be my personal business, not requiring control.

— I'll be home for the next week. I'm on vacation." – the guy said and stepped aside.

— I'm sorry!" – I didn't dare look at him again, I just left.

I returned home and climbed into the shower. I had no time to think about what had happened. I cheated on my husband and that was bad, but the thought that something was wrong with my body pushed morality far into the background. I imagined the worst possible things. My brain recalled all the terrible stories I had ever heard. Gathering my courage, I still went to the store, carefully sneaking past the neighbor's apartment. And on the way back, I decided to see a doctor. Let them give me a fatal diagnosis right away rather than me walking around and working myself up to death.

The appointment was scheduled for Thursday, so I had two more days to finish myself off morally. Vitalik came home late, emptied the fridge, and went to sleep, and I suffered