The beginning of the descent

Choice

Decision

She stood by the door, in indecision... There was still plenty of time before the appointed hour. She had come early on purpose because she understood that taking this step would not be easy. For the past 24 hours, she had been thinking about it non-stop... And she was still not sure she was doing the right thing... But it wasn't too late to stop everything, just to leave, to simply NOT press the doorbell button... and that's it... and nothing would happen... nothing to worry about or blush over, to simply NOT take this step—a step into the unknown and danger... SIMPLY...

Her thoughts were tangled; she would decide to stop and leave, then scold herself for indecisiveness and reach for the bell...

and pull her hand back again...

And again she reached to ring... In these minutes, something was happening within her! A storm was raging inside! A battle between "I WANT" and "DO I NEED TO???" The rules were extremely simple: want to?—come in! No?—leave! No one is forcing, ordering, or pressuring. It's all very simple! "Yes" or "No." You decide—yourself! It's all very simple. And this simplicity was driving her crazy. It would have been easier if she had been forced, compelled, ordered. Then everything could be blamed on that. But like this—you decide everything yourself. Simply and honestly. No pressure or coercion. Want to—reach out and ring. No—leave. It's all very simple. But it's so impossibly difficult! These minutes drag on so long and heavily... Choose! Here and now.

It's easier to leave, and that's it—and nothing will happen, nothing to reproach or be ashamed of. It's so simple—simply not press the doorbell button, not open the door, not take a step over the threshold, not enter and... not find out, not experience all that... that will be there... Probably this is the right decision, the most correct and most natural... Not to make a mistake... Simply, not to make a mistake... Yes, that's exactly right, and that's exactly what I will do... Exactly that! Why do foolish things? Why act weird? Why? No, no need... I just need to turn around and leave... Simply leave... And stop all these heavy thoughts...

Simply turn around, and go down the stairs... Go outside... Walk to the nearest bus stop and leave here forever... And simply forget all this, all this nonsense I wanted to plunge into, all these thoughts, and that's it! Shake off all these worries, simply slip back into the gray weekdays... Become an average person... Oh, how good it is to be simply—average... A gray person... A gray woman... A gray mouse... Just like everyone else... Simply to be like everyone else... Simply to go with the flow...

She snapped out of it from the sensation of the cold bell... Her hand was still reaching there! Her brain was telling her she needed to turn around and leave. But her hand was reaching for the bell. Her legs didn't want to carry her away from here. Her hand was reaching into the unknown. Something there was so alluring and calling...

Her finger sank into emptiness. The button was pressed. The circuit closed. Time began a countdown. Seconds began their journey backward. To the point of no return. But, until that very line, until the threshold, until the Rubicon—there is still time! It's still possible to reverse and stop everything. THE RING! But, there is hope—what if there, behind the door, no one is home? What if no one opens? And then she could turn around and leave!!! Simply—turn around and leave! And leave everything here—all the worries and fears... Leave...

Simply turn around, and go down the stairs... Go outside... Walk to the nearest bus stop and leave here forever... And simply forget all this, all this nonsense I wanted to plunge into, all these thoughts, and that's it! Shake off all these worries, simply slip back into the gray weekdays... Become an average person... Oh, how good it is to be simply—average... A gray person... A gray woman... A gray mouse... Just like everyone else... Simply to be like everyone else... Simply to go with the flow...

A click! It was like thunder! Deafened—crushed—frightened... An ordinary click—the sound of a lock opening, so quiet, practically inaudible and unnoticeable in the ordinary rhythm of our existence... But here—like thunder!!! Terrible and piercingly deafening! Passing through her entire body! Through her brain! Felt in every cell of her organism and consciousness. This is the signal of no return. This is—the Rubicon!

The door opened. She took a step—a step into the abyss... Apartment... hallway... Someone closed the door behind her... She felt a blindfold being put on her, covering her eyes... All this was like in a fog... While aware of everything absolutely clearly, she was still in a kind of stupor... Probably this is what 'a state of affect' feels like,—she thought. Instinctively, she took a step forward, then another... Entering, she remembered where the hallway ended and the door to the room was open... Slowly, step by step, she walked forward, feeling the walls so as not to stumble. Here's the door, she turned right and took a few steps.

She stopped. Understanding that she was standing in a room. But she didn't understand where to go next. Only sensations, only assumptions... It seemed like a huge room... and she was standing in the middle of this room... A strange feeling... or rather—feelings... There were many of them and they washed over her all at once... A feeling of incomprehension... a feeling of being small in something huge... a feeling of defenselessness... a feeling of danger... feelings... feelings... feelings...

And also—she didn't know if there was anyone else here... she could only guess... it's unclear... is there anyone else here... It seemed like timelessness had set in... It seemed like an eternity had already passed since she lost the ability to see and plunged into these sensations... She didn't know what to do next... She felt uneasy... Fear... Mixed with interest... This surprised her... Truly, she was scared, but even more interested... This mixture of such often close, and such opposite feelings was so attractively mysterious... And so unusual...

— Take five steps forward!—a voice like a thunderclap pierced the silence! She shuddered and took the commanded number of steps. On the fifth step, she bumped into something. With her hands, she understood it was the edge of a table.

— This is a table. Lean on it!—the voice was stern, but not loud, yet sufficient to understand that this was the voice of the Master! She followed the instruction. Leaning on the table, she exhaled. But she felt a tremor. She tried to quell the trembling, but it only intensified...

— Take off your pants!—was the next order. She didn't know what to do. A moment of confusion... She was trembling and didn't dare to do something. She asked herself—did she really hear what she thought she heard... She didn't know how to just take off her jeans like that... Expose herself to someone unknown...

— I repeat twice only once!—the voice became firmer and more confident...

She understood she had heard correctly. Her hands reached for the buttons... a few movements and the jeans were down to her knees... A wave ran through her body... A coolness passed over her buttocks... She continued to tremble... She could physically feel his gaze on her! He was looking at her!!! This made her trembling intensify...

— Stick out your ass!—the order sounded confident and unexpected again.

She obeyed. Leaning on the table with her hands, she arched her back and presented her ass for the stranger's viewing. It was unclear... Ashamed, cool, and somehow incomprehensible...

Take off your pants completely! She took off her shoes, and slipped off her jeans, placing them right there on the floor beside her, remaining in just her panties.

— Spread your legs!—an order. She obeyed... Her body was filling with a strange sensation... It was swelling, filling, swelling to the brim and overflowing with it... Emotions began to overwhelm...

— Pull your panties down to your knees! Her hands reached for her panties. Halted for a moment... She understood this was the last barrier, although, there was already no way back... But, still! But only for an instant her hands slowed... She remembered the warning, that he doesn't repeat twice. Slipping her thumbs under the elastic, she pulled her panties down as ordered with familiar movements.

— Spread your legs wider! She obeyed, spreading her legs as wide as possible. Emotions continued to build. She wasn't thinking about anything. But thoughts themselves pushed into her head. And feelings were overflowing her being! Emotions were simply overwhelming. She stands in the middle of the room, and he is looking at her—or maybe not just him... She simply felt ashamed... With her bare ass, she was like an open book before his gaze.

— Do you like getting fucked in the ass? The question caught her off guard! She was somewhat taken aback... Felt how a blush simply flooded her entire being... She felt his gaze on her even more strongly! She couldn't utter a phrase, her lips were locked from fear and shame... But, she remembered she had to answer, because he would be displeased.

— Yyes,—she uttered uncertainly and quietly.

— Didn't catch that,—dissatisfaction was heard in his voice,—I didn't hear!

— Yes, I like it,—she said more clearly.

— And how often do you get fucked anally?

Blush flooded her entirely. She felt like she would burn up from shame!!!

— No, not often.

— Why?—he seemed surprised.

— I don't know,—she seemed to be suffocating... She wanted to end this shame. She was already regretting having gone through with all this.

— Turn to face me!

She stood for a moment, as if making a decision... Then slowly turned, pressing her buttocks against the edge of the table... Simply pressing into it, as if trying to distance herself as far as possible from the one speaking to her.

— You don't shave your pussy?!

She blushed even more... Yes, her pubic area was hairy, she trimmed a little, but overall, remained quite hairy... Her husband liked it that way, and she herself was used to it, and it was comfortable for her...

— Just a little,—she answered barely audibly.

— A little? Why don't you shave?

— My husband likes it that way,—she said, not knowing the reaction of her interlocutor.

— You have a husband? Then why are you here?

She was silent. She didn't know what to answer. The question was so correct and obvious that it was simply shameful and scary...

— Do you belong to your husband?

She didn't know how to answer this question correctly. She didn't know for what purpose it was asked. She didn't know what to say... But she understood she had to answer...

— Yes, I belong.

— I don't need other people's things. I don't use what isn't mine. But since you came here, I understand you want something.

— Yes, I want.

— What then?

— I don't know...

— A strange answer... You have a husband. But you come here and stand here with a bare ass and a hairy pussy...

And you don't understand what you need...

She was silent. She understood that all this was shameful and stupid. And burning with shame, understanding all this, she felt something she had never experienced before... She continued to tremble, continued to feel shame, continued to feel a certain apprehension... But, along with this, she clearly understood that she liked all this... And all this was interesting to her... Even, despite the fact that she still had a blindfold on her eyes, and couldn't see anything, and was herself exposed from all sides.... They were looking at her, examining her... This embarrassed and captivated her...

— So what do you want?.... Silent?... Don't know... Or don't dare to say?

— Are you a slut?—it was sharp. Offensive. She had never felt like a slut. But here—everything aligned. She is here. Naked. She is a slut. She realized it.

— Yes.

— Yes what?

— Yes, I am a slut.

— Who do you belong to? Your husband?

She was silent. She understood this was a provocation. Yes, she belonged to her husband, that's true, but now, when she is here, with her lower half naked before this man! What husband???

— I don't know... not sure...—she said quietly.

— Is that so—he seemed surprised,—how come? How many times in the last week has your husband fucked you?

— Not once.

— Is that so! And in a month?

— Twice.

— And you dare to claim that he owns you? Having you twice a month?

— How often do you come when he fucks you?

— Not often.

— More precisely!

— Every other time. Sometimes less often.

— Is that so! Not only does he fuck you once every two weeks, but you also don't come with him...

— Yes, You are right...

— Do you like to fuck? After all, you are a slut, as we've established, and sluts love that!

— Yes, I like it,—with each answer, she felt she was sinking deeper into some, previously unknown state... Shame, but it, intensifying with each more explicit question, was giving way to interest and arousal...

She caught herself thinking that she awaited the next question with apprehension, but also with desire...

— How often do you touch your pussy yourself?

— Often...

— I know it's often, how often exactly?

— Every day...

— Are you wet right now?

She hadn't thought about her sensations down there until this moment... But, after his question, she realized, she had a veritable flood there...

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