My story about Sasha
My name is Anfisa, yes, that's right. I'll tell you about myself: I am a very strange person, always different, interesting, smart, I can support any topic in a conversation, understanding, kind and... not modest at all. I have a rather complex character, with my own virtues and flaws. There are many virtues, but the main flaw is my plumpness. In this world, in my time, slender, well-groomed, rich-girl types who are bitches and play with men are highly valued; they are the ones living well right now. Unfortunately, I don't fit that description; no matter how I tried to lose weight, I never fully succeeded. I am, as they say, "the picture of health": tall, fair with blue eyes, rosy cheeks, large breasts, and curly light-brown hair, all soft, fluffy, and affectionate, but principled and contrary!
I lived to 21 and was a virgin, for many reasons, but mainly because I didn't trust the men I met and wanted to do "it" for the first time with someone I truly loved. Arriving in Kharkiv from the South for the summer, I was bored since all my friends had scattered to resorts, which is exactly why I registered on a dating site. Of course, there were plenty of idiots there, but interesting specimens also appeared, for example — a two-meter-tall alpha male who only wanted sex from me, while I was looking for love, but found — a friend. I started corresponding with a very interesting person; as usual, we agreed to meet for a walk on Independence Day — summer, a holiday, fireworks. We decided to come with a friend and a girlfriend to walk as a foursome, although I think he thought — if he didn't like me, then at least — the girlfriend would suit him, increasing his chances.
I arrived, a little late, of course, but besides my girlfriend, I didn't see anyone else because there were huge crowds of people, the subscriber's phone was off; in short, after waiting just a little — we went to drink and walk on our own, but the mood was completely different — we went our separate ways home. In the evening, he (Sasha) called me, talked for a long time about how his phone died, he couldn't find me in the huge crowd, etc. Pretending to believe him, I decided to continue communicating with him; something about Sashka had touched me. We corresponded, then met, talked, and then I found out that he had actually recognized me back then but didn't approach because... and here's the problem... I still don't fully understand — why...? At first, he said he wanted to have fun that evening, but seeing me, he realized I wasn't like that and that I suited the role of a friend; he didn't want to scare me off. There were also hints about my appearance, then that he didn't like the girlfriend, then that... in short — there were a bunch of versions, but I still don't know the real reason and never will.
Alright, I let it all go and decided to see what would happen next. He called and wrote to me every day. We talked about various topics, but somehow we couldn't manage to meet — either he had work, or I did, or — some excuses. I don't understand myself — why I communicated with him and still do... At first — there was no choice, then — I got used to it, tried — to end it all, then thought maybe he would fall in love with me and we would date, but he kept talking about — friendly relations; I don't understand why he's torturing me. We communicated like that for a very long time until we met on his birthday. I blew up balloons, dressed up, congratulated him, we walked around the city, drank some wine in an alley, he suggested going to his place. I agreed only on the condition that he wouldn't hit on me; he promised — and I went with him to the "ass end of the world." A village, romance, stars, and wine; I liked him, especially — for his contrariness and nastiness. We sat, drank, talked.
It was autumn, cold in the house because there was no heating yet, so then I agreed to sleep under the same blanket with him to keep warmer. We went to bed, but neither could fall asleep — both breathing heavily, nervous, the frantic beating of hearts audible in the room. He hugged me and whispered — why was I so stubborn? I told him the reason (virginity), but he replied that it was very complicated and was so cold about it that I ran to the other bed, taking the blanket with me. We slept, and in the morning — "frost and sun — a wonderful day..." from both sides. A nightmare, that state... hard to put into words. I went home, but he kept calling, writing, and treating me like a friend with glimpses of completely unfriendly conversations. We decided it was good that we didn't sleep together then, or nothing would have come of our friendship.
Yeah, treating him as a friend didn't work out for me, and he knew it and was to blame himself — you can't say such things and act like that and call it all — "FRIENDLY RELATIONS," in capital letters, he emphasized that to me, and I was getting more and more attached... Every morning — there were texts, every evening — hour-and-a-half-long conversations; he even came to visit me, and I — cooked lunch for him, then we sat in a cafe and talked for a very long time. He told me about his wife and other girls, I — told him — about my "unfortunate incidents"; I got so used to him that he became a very dear person to me. In difficult moments, I called him, and he — called me; we cried on each other's shoulders. We walked together, but I wanted him, wanted love, sex, and him. I showed him this in every possible way, and he — pretended not to notice — why??? And I so wanted to give someone my tenderness and love.
Yesterday he called and invited me to play pool — I went across the whole city, took everything I needed to stay overnight; I wanted and planned what I needed from him, and he saw everything, just didn't show anything. He was so indifferent to me, holding himself back, or is he really like that? If so, that's — even worse. And I wanted to and invited myself over, carefully came onto him, and he — was indifferent again. If only someone would tell me the real reason for such behavior. Then we slept in the same bed; I hugged him, rubbed my nose against his cheek; he couldn't take it — started kissing me, got aroused, and simply couldn't stop. We kissed passionately, hugged, and pressed against each other as if we wanted to merge. He took off my soaking wet panties and threw them on the floor, and I was shaking all over.
He took out and put on a condom; good thing he adheres to that principle himself, so I didn't have to ask. Then, Sashka positioned himself between my legs, placed the head at my entrance, and with one sharp movement entered me fully. It felt like an electric shock; he pressed me down, started moving slowly, and whispered: "Bear with it, bear with it, it will pass soon!" Those words still echo in my head, and I only remember that moment, that sweet pain, the state of explosion, and the masculine strength with which he pressed me down. Sharp, painful, sweet, and strong. I wanted to burst into tears so he would pity me, wanted to show my weakness and convey these emotions to him, wanted... everything. I sobbed and moaned a little, pressed him to me, kneaded his back, sucked his tongue, and bit his cheek and lips, stroked his hair, and offered my neck for kisses. I love it so much when I'm hugged and kissed on the neck, but he didn't guess that, a pity... Just as my pain subsided, and I started feeling pleasant and good, he already came and got up.
I lay there thoughtless and breathing heavily, and he — changed the condom. Then he entered me again sharply and deeply, so much that I even cried out, and started moving inside me like a pleasant warm piston, medium-sized, but I wanted more. I wanted affection, tenderness, actions from his side, any additional ones, but no — he only occasionally kissed me on the lips and moved with variable frequency. It didn't last long; he came again and pulled out, said thank you, and ran to the bathroom. And I wasn't tired at all and lay in bed unsatisfied
. He came, lay down next to me, and said I should also go to the bathroom; I got up without a word and went; I was glad there was no blood at all. I tidied myself up and returned to him under the blanket. Sasha hugged me, and we lay there talking. I told him he had pricked me all over with his stubble, to which he replied he hadn't prepared, and I said spontaneous decisions are always the best. He told me not to deceive myself, at least.
I realized he knew about my plan all along, that he was cold with me because he didn't want to... ruin our "FRIENDLY RELATIONS"; I felt so vile inside, I almost burst into tears because I was such a fool, because he was so cruel. I felt sorry for myself, bitterly hurt, wanted to sink through the floor; how can someone be so cold-blooded?! And how could I humiliate myself like that?! He told me it was nothing terrible, but I was scared; he even asked me about my impressions; I couldn't say anything, I stayed silent to avoid sobbing, but I wanted more of everything: love, affection, sex, and HIM. I wanted more of everything, and especially wanted that feeling of bitterness from humiliation and sweetness from the hymen tearing. Then we chatted casually, like friends, on all topics; I was being clever again and laughing through tears. I was so angry with myself and with him, and it's completely unclear at whom more.
I persuaded myself not to regret it, looked for positive moments, even touched my lips to his shoulder. I would have given him so much affection, tenderness, and care like no one ever, but he didn't notice my hints and didn't see my suffering. I so wanted to know — what he was thinking then, and if there's at least a drop of love for me in his heart, at least the seed of any feelings; why can't I read minds? Or maybe it's good I can't, because he might not be thinking about me at all? Maybe I — fell in love? And in vain, though I want these sweet torments; in short — I'm going crazy. We lay there, then tried to sleep, but I slept poorly; we woke up early and simultaneously. I ran to the bathroom, washed my face, scolded myself, brushed my teeth, then returned. He hugged me tightly and pressed me to him, putting his leg between my legs; I wonder if he felt how hot and wet it was there, how much I wanted it. He said he hated mornings and placed my hand on his erect penis.
I said: "Let's do it!". And he — exposed his penis and placed it in my hand, and with his hand, moving my panties aside, started working inside me. I kneaded his head, and he — aroused me with his fingers, and again he came, and I — didn't, that's not fair!!! All morning and all day there was indifference towards me, ignoring, coldness, and I so wanted to be grabbed and raped a couple of times, so wanted... BUT NO actions, and I was angry at everyone and everything. I said he wasn't affectionate and asked — why so contrary and cold, and he — shrugged, as if to say — that's just how he is. I pushed him away and left... I DON'T know what to do next or how to behave with him! I only know one thing: yesterday he wanted to quit smoking, and today — he couldn't; maybe that means something, or maybe — not. I would so like to hear answers to my questions, but...
11/13/2010
Well, judging by the recent events I'll now describe, I don't distinguish myself with intelligence and quick-wittedness, although two months ago I would never have thought I could behave like this. Any girl reading my story will say I'm an idiot, devoid of the slightest hint of pride. Not only did I, thanks to my friend, help Sashka and his friend earn 300 hryvnias out of thin air, of course, without much gratitude from his side. Good thing I agreed with him that he would spend half that amount on me, or he wouldn't even have thought to do something nice for me; overall — he's a selfish, ungrateful bastard! On November 9th, after work, I rushed across the whole city for the money to my friend's boyfriend's office. Sasha and Gena were already waiting for me there. We got the money and went as a foursome to a sushi restaurant. I persuaded Sashka to thank my friend and try sushi since he and I hadn't tried it before; Gena tagged along.
We sat in the restaurant, ate; by the way, when Sashka eats — he makes funny sounds of pleasure and sighs, so hilarious. And we behaved rather strangely; I wonder what Yulichka thought about our relationship?! After dinner, we wandered to the metro, but only Yulia got on the metro, and I wanted to walk more with the boys; I really didn't want to go home. While walking, I invited myself to their place; yes, exactly, invited myself because when I want something — I lose my mind and do stupid things. Another long road to his house; we stopped at a store on the way and got more alcohol; the guys told jokes, but in my soul, I felt like some village girl who can't restrain herself and hangs on all guys indiscriminately. I decided to calm down, think about the upcoming sex.
At home, I took a shower, tidied up, put on a sexy little black nightie, and came under the blanket to Sashka. I wasn't bothered at all by what Sashka probably thought — that I was in love with him, had gone crazy, invited myself over, packed a nightie in my bag, planning to seduce him, that besides us, Gennadiy was in the house, who was shocked by my behavior and didn't know — how to disappear into the ground. In short — nothing and no one bothered me — I wanted sex! BUT, Gennadiy didn't want to go to sleep, and my precious one got a migraine; well, no hint of sex; I felt like a total idiot. Alright, I thought, where is this world heading if even men refuse sex?! I kissed Sashka on the temple so his headache would stop, lay down by the wall, decided to sleep.
He pressed me tightly to him so I felt his penis with my butt, got aroused, of course, thought he was a cold-blooded and cruel idiot, tried to fall asleep. In the middle of the night, I woke up, went to the toilet, and when I returned — discovered that Gena was asleep, and my Sashka's headache was gone and he was breathing heavily. Before I could lie under the blanket, I felt his hands all over me. His lips were already touching mine, and his hands persistently tried to take off my pink lace panties and untie the satin ribbon lace at the back. I didn't resist and took them off myself; he — put on protection, which he bought in the evening when he told me and Gena to go save seats on the bus, and he went to the pharmacy to buy "cookies for tea."
As always — sharply and all the way in, hearing me cry out from pain and surprise, he pressed me down and dug his lips into mine, continuing to move quickly. I braced my feet against his calves, then locked my legs around his back, pressing him tightly to me. He lifted my legs under the knees, and in that position, he could penetrate deeper; I liked it very much; I clenched my vaginal muscles and massaged his buttocks. He kissed my face and panted in my ear. Then he moved me and entered me from the side so that my body was perpendicular to his, and he could tease my clitoris with his hand, and I — could squeeze his neck and tickle behind his ear. Next — he moved me up, and I sat on him, but nothing worked because his penis kept slipping out; when the condom came off — Sashka called me a dunce; I — laughed, and he — changed the rubber and entered me in the classic position.
After a while, he made three hard thrusts, pressed my hips to the bed, came, and collapsed on me, not pulling out. We lay there silently; he ran to the shower; I — did too; we returned, hugged, and fell asleep. In the morning, I woke him up; we got ready and went to work. He lit a cigarette, saw the smoke blowing my way, walked around me since he knew I don't like smoke, learned to give me his hand when getting off transport, memorized my favorite phrases, but still, I want better treatment for myself.
11/14/2010
At 6 a.m. on Sunday, I jumped up because I couldn't sleep properly. I had been waiting so much for this weekend, dreaming all week that Gena would go to Lozova and I could come to Sashka's, tidy up his place, cook lunch, in short — play the caring little wife; I wanted that so much, and, of course, have sex all night and all morning. But it turned out completely different, as always. He ran around all day Saturday solving his problems, and in the evening said he couldn't meet me because he wouldn't be sleeping at home. I said — fine, suffered a bit and let it go, but at 8 p.m. he called me and asked to talk with him while he walked down a dark street so he wouldn't be