What a fool I am
He just didn’t give me peace. Attempts to discourage him were unsuccessful. Finally, I told him that okay, we would meet after training, but only to talk and for that he would leave me alone. I thought that he would be waiting for me after class, but it turns out he was watching me during training. He said that I was very beautiful and a good dancer. I'm just a weak woman, how much does it take to seduce us? A little flattery and we'll melt. Experienced male scoundrels take advantage of this. I had to get into the car with him and take him to my place. As luck would have it, my husband just recently left for Europe precisely for the project that he had been lobbying for for a long time. I hoped that I would scare the new admirer and lied to him that my husband was home. He said that he would just walk me to the door and went up with me. I had no choice but to let him in. It wasn't enough for him to hang around my door. And then the neighbors will tell their husband and each other things that will never wash off. I tried to explain to him that I was not his cup of tea, that I was married and I was quite happy with my life, I didn’t need lovers on the side. He answered that I was beautiful, that he had never seen anyone more beautiful than me, that he just wanted to admire me, that he just wanted to be my slave and for me to be his goddess. He called me a beautiful goddess. It was some kind of psychological attack, incredibly powerful pressure. I even suspected that it was hypnosis. I tried to resist this pressure, but what can I, a weak woman, do... He kept talking and talking, his words flowed like an incessant waterfall, he spoke somehow very convincingly. I simply could not refuse him when this psychopath began to insist on making him the happiest of mortals - by dancing a striptease for him. I agreed on the condition that he would leave immediately after that. We agreed. I turned on the music and began to dance, gradually getting excited and excited. I caught myself with the seditious thought that I liked the hungry sparkle of my admirer’s admiring eyes. Gradually I stripped down to my swimsuit.
I danced and saw him almost going crazy, barely restraining himself from attacking me. Every now and then he would reach out to me to touch me, but fortunately I pulled away in time. The music ended, but he demanded more and more. I had to continue. Finally, I stopped, exhausted. He picked me up and threw me on the bed, tore off my swimsuit and began to greedily kiss my breasts. I almost choked from surprise and indignation. He squeezed my breasts painfully, saying that I was his beautiful goddess. I almost cried and asked him to let me go. I was very scared; various stories flashed about maniacs and rapes and murders. What if this one is one of those? I was so scared that I almost fainted. My heart beat so much from this thought that I was already preparing to die. It suddenly dawned on me—I had heard or read somewhere—something like advice on how to avoid the worst turn of events in this situation. I told him to let me go and I’ll do everything myself. He obeyed. Overcoming incredible shame and feeling disgusted with myself, I knelt down in front of him, unbuttoned his pants and... I had to take his erect penis into my mouth. For the first time in my life I gave a blowjob to a man. I thought I would die of shame. I stood completely naked in front of a stranger on my knees and sucked his penis!!! It seemed to me that I would go crazy and it would be better if my mind really became clouded than to remember this. I hate myself for this! And this scoundrel also took my head with both hands and began to “help” me, forcefully pushing my mouth onto his penis. I looked at his face—it expressed dull bliss. But I was not at all happy. At the same time, he groaned, screamed and said that I was his goddess and that I needed to be worshiped, that I needed to be prayed for, that I was a saint. This completely confused me. It couldn’t go on like this for long and he came violently right into my mouth. I almost choked, but he forcibly held me by my hair, pressing my face to his groin and forced me to swallow all his sperm. Overcoming disgust, I could hardly force myself to submit to the violence. Then we both lay next to each other for a few minutes, resting. Finally, I spoke. I said that he was a scoundrel and a rapist, that I could not see him, he had dishonored me - a faithful wife, a pure woman, the mother of a child, and made me a prostitute.
He did not agree and began to say that he admired me so much that he could not resist such temptation. He said that joining me sexually cleanses him and he wants to be better. I was very surprised by his words, I didn’t even believe it. He began to prove, again the words poured like a waterfall onto my brain. I was afraid that now I would again fall into prostration from his words and everything would repeat. So I hurried to tell him to get out, otherwise I would call the police. It worked, he got ready, went to the door, and finally gave me a loud slap on my bare ass.
At the same time he added that, they say, we’ll meet again. I said that I did not intend to get to know him. He replied that this was not said to me, but to my “curvy royal ass.” He left, and I suffered for a long time, I wanted - I don’t know what. I've never been let down like that. Never in my most terrible thoughts could I imagine such a thing - not even knowing his name, not knowing anything about him, only seeing him for the second time - and giving myself up in the most humiliating and shameful way. I was tormented by remorse! What especially tormented me was the fact that he himself wasn’t anything. Not even a prostitute would give herself up to this. He is neither handsome nor good in height, face or figure. He's not very smart either. I was only alarmed by his strange words - after all, he repeated incessantly that I was beautiful, that I was his goddess and that he wanted to pray for me. Something strange for a simple woman seeker. Am I really so good that I drive men crazy???!!! Men want to see me as a goddess and be my slaves... This probably doesn’t happen to every woman. This thought somehow, even against my will, began to tickle my pride. I wanted to be proud. And I would be proud if it weren’t for the very fact of my betrayal and my sexual humiliation. It's been probably a week and a half. My so-called “slave” called again. I began to shame him, because he promised that he would leave me alone. But he said that he would certainly leave, but only wanted to see me to ask for forgiveness on his knees. Stupid, I believed him and allowed him to wait at the entrance. But when I came home, no one was waiting at the entrance. Thank God, I thought, I fell behind.
But I was wrong. The scoundrel waited until I came into my room and began to ring the doorbell. I had to open it so it wouldn’t disturb the entire entrance. He entered, and not alone, but with some teenage boy of about 18 years old and some other nondescript man. I asked in anger, “What do they want here now in my house?” But they took out bottles of champagne, cognac, something else, a box of chocolates... my old friend announced that he had only come to ask for my forgiveness, and his son and best friend came with him to express their admiration for me, the goddess who had bewitched him. I felt that I was about to melt and allowed them to pass, but not for long. The whole company unanimously assured me that it would not be for long. We sat down at the table, chatting about all sorts of trifles. They poured more champagne for me than for themselves. The champagne immediately went to my head. I got very drunk, but on the other hand I felt somehow better, I felt more relaxed. Only I was afraid that my admirer would gossip to his friend and especially to his pimply teenage son about how he forced me to have oral sex. We chatted and treated ourselves. We argued about wines and cognacs and the nondescript man said that he knew a cocktail recipe that could not be found in any restaurant, but he himself could prepare it right now. It seemed strange to me that such an inconspicuous lout could know a lot about such delicate matters, and I told him about it. He said he was willing to bet anything. I made another mistake by agreeing to his condition. I demanded that if he was lying about the cocktail, then they would fulfill my every wish. Having stood our ground, we agreed that the desire should not be faetastic, unfulfillable, like “give me the moon from the sky or pay me a million dollars in cash.” I went out for a minute and hid when they called me. The “cocktail” consisted of a mixture of champagne, vodka, beer and cognac. It was a complete mess. Almost by force they forced me to drink everything to the bottom.
Then they started making fun of me about how awkward and timid I was. I argued that it was not true, I am not more fearful than them. My fan then asked, “Is it weak to dance a naked belly dance in front of us?” I was somewhat embarrassed; I did not expect such a question. They, no longer paying attention to me, began to argue among themselves whether someone like me was weak or not to dance a striptease for them. I was hurt by this attitude, and most of all, that I was considered incapable of any bright gesture. I told them that now I will prove which of us is weak. I still don’t understand how I could decide to do something like this, what happened to me. I turned on the music, stripped naked and began to dance in front of them. I think I got a little drunk, because some strange inspiration came over me and I danced very well. I came close to them, touched their faces with my stomach, and leaned my chest towards them. When they wanted to grab me, I deftly dodged and continued the dance. Turning my ass towards my fan, I rotated my hips, touching his face. He couldn't resist and grabbed my ass. I laughed, pulled away from him and quickly ran over to his son. The boy looked at me with all his eyes. I was even somewhat embarrassed, probably for the first time I saw a completely naked beautiful woman so close. But there was no trace of my embarrassment left. Under the comments of the elders, the boy stroked my bare thigh with one hand, and ran the other over my bare stomach - I felt ticklish, I trembled, laughed and slipped out of his embrace. Either alcohol or the consciousness that I was admired somehow liberated me. And I spun around in ecstasy until I noticed that my admirer was holding me from behind and caressing me. I smiled at him, thinking that he wanted to dance with me.
But he approached the sofa step by step and threw me down with my chest on the back of the sofa. Only then did it dawn on me what they wanted to do to me. I wanted to break free, but he held me tightly from behind by the waist, and his friend, an unfamiliar man, grabbed my hands from the front and held me so that I could not resist. I asked them not to, but they didn’t seem to hear anything. To my horror, my “slave’s” hands slid from my waist to my hips. I felt that he was trying to rape me in a perverted way. What could I do? Nothing, I just cried. I hoped that nothing would come of it, but he still managed to thrust it into my ass with such force that I almost lost consciousness from the pain. It feels like a stake is being driven into my ass. I didn’t even have enough air, I screamed as best I could from terrible pain and shame, and kicked. He pulled my hair and I realized that I couldn’t escape. This scoundrel tormented my virgin anus (which had not yet known any sex), with such frenzy, as if he wanted to tear it apart. He even screamed out of passion himself. I hated him for this. He caused me terrible pain, but he himself enjoyed it. It seemed like it would last forever. I screamed incessantly, cried, begged them to let me go, but they only laughed, and the scoundrel behind me snorted like an animal. Moreover, the boy took out a camera and began taking photographs, apparently they had discussed this in advance. Finally, my “adorator” came, I felt hot sperm abundantly filling my poor ass. My rapist twitched a couple more times, weakened, fell on me, drooling on my neck. He was disgusting. My anus seemed to be on fire with an unbearable fire. But I didn’t care anymore, I lay there, bent across the back of the sofa, and the scoundrel lay on top of me, sighing heavily. I no longer screamed, I just sobbed, and these bastards joked shallowly.
The men grabbed me and threw me down. I couldn't resist. They tore off my
robe, which I barely had time to cover myself with after I was raped by my “admirer.” I was left naked again and felt completely helpless, especially when I saw the skinny figure of a teenager. He had already undressed and was approaching me with a predatory look. I groaned and desperately tried to break free, but the two scoundrels held me tightly. One crossed my arms above my head, and the other held my legs, sitting on my lap. The rapists began to persuade me that there was nothing special here, well, the boy will fuck me, what’s wrong. And they also told me not to scream, because the child would wake up again. Scoundrels, they blackmailed me! I cried quietly, trying in vain to cover my body with my arms, but my hands were grabbed above my head. The boy himself was embarrassed, he didn’t know how to behave, this was his first time. The men began to encourage him and advise him.
I begged with tears to let me go. He grabbed my breasts with his hands and squeezed them so hard that I couldn’t stand it and moaned loudly. But he muffled my moan with a kiss right on the lips. He didn’t know how to kiss either, but he still received pleasure. And I almost suffocated. The men praised him - well done, since the woman is screaming, it means you are a real man. The boy began to sweat and began to cum. I felt his sperm fill my insides and I felt disgusted. I became disgusted and disgusting with myself. It was very painful between my legs. The little scoundrel raped an adult woman, raped her so much that I got knocked up. But it didn't end there. The boy got off me and then the third man said that he wanted me too. I didn't care anymore. He tried, but it didn't work. He got angry, as if it was my fault, and sat on my chest, saying, “Well, okay, if you don’t want it like that, then let’s put it in your mouth.” I turned my head, trying to turn away from his dick, but he grabbed my hair so hard that it became unbearably painful and I opened my mouth. He inserted his penis into my mouth and... I don’t even want to tell you what happened. He said that if I didn't try, he would kill me. Fortunately, he still got excited and also came. And again I had to force myself to swallow the sperm. The man was very pleased. As a “thank you,” he again gave me a couple of resounding slaps in the face. I burst into tears from pain and humiliation. The scum began to say that I was a fool and that I should be grateful to them for the fact that it was not just anyone who fucked me, but them. They said I was now cleared. It’s really not clear - what did they cleanse me of? I told them I would commit suicide. They answered that I wouldn’t do this because I had a child. After that they called me a prostitute and left quite satisfied with themselves. It took me a long time to come to my senses. But the worst began now, two months later. Certain signs appeared, the doctor said that I was pregnant. Ultrasound confirmed it. In helpless rage, I waited for them to call me again and then I would tell these scoundrels everything. But no one called, they just sent a photo. On one, my face is twisted in pain and my mouth is wide open, twisted, when I screamed, not remembering myself. And in the background my “fan” is “having” me in the ass. Others aren't any better - I get raped by a teenager and have my mouth fucked by a drunken scoundrel. With a shudder, I tore up the photos and threw them away.
My husband is coming soon. I ask everyone - please advise me - what should I do now? What should I do?! I love my husband, he loves me, we have a child. What will the child say to dad? And what will I tell him? Что меня «отымел» 18-летний мальчишка-подросток, да так здорово, что сделал мне брюхо? Что я беременна от малолетнего подлеца, которого даже не знаю — ни как зовут, ни где искать, ни в лицо не помню? Что теперь он стал мужчиной? Что меня использовали как секс-игрушку, как шлюху? Я просто не знаю. Стоит ли мне родить втихаря и отказаться от дитя? Или делать срочную хирургическую операцию? Или пасть на колени перед мужем, солгать, что меня изнасиловали ночью где-нибудь на пустыре, за городом? Может тогда он простит? Я понимаю, что я дура, что я сама виновата, но мне нужны ваши советы.