THE LAW IS HARSH…
Eronic Phantasm
WARNING.
For better comprehension, it is recommended to pronounce the names and titles aloud :))
1. Prelude or A Brief Introduction to the Phantasm
"On the dusty paths of distant planets, our footprints will remain!"
(From a song)
The liner was landing at the port of the planet Sik-Stin-Ain. The passengers were slightly nervous. This was the first tourist flight from Earth.
Among the happy pioneers of the new route were: an elderly American multi-billionaire, Zilber Gold, with his young wife Ero Naomi Tika; the movie star
Mini Phentis; two young scions of blue blood — Duke Hugo of Yop and Tupo von Trachstein; three Russian deputies: Prokhor Khodovsky, Lyonya Gladky, and Yevsey Ivanov; and the former mayor of the backwater town of Paulburg, Elvira Poimello.The hereditary princes Hugo of Yop and Tupo von Trachstein, in the spirit of the best traditions, had been sent by their purple-clad ancestors on a long journey so that upon their return they could lead the aerospace forces of their kingdoms with the rank of General-Admiral. The illustrious rakes Hugo and Tupo first fucked the young Ero Tika, who was wandering alone around the liner, as Zilber Gold spent his days glued to his computer, fleecing naive Earth stockbrokers. His young wife, languishing, had a constant headache and trouble sleeping...
However, after receiving a clear explanation from Gladky and Ivanov that they needed Ero Tika for themselves, and getting a bit of a slap in the face to boot, the scions, having drunk schnapps and whiskey, switched their attention to the star Phentis. But her sexual advances were of no interest to the star; she was traveling to rest from the intense sexual filming in nine films at once. She wanted impressions completely unrelated to work. Her fee allowed it.
Khodovsky had lost in the recent elections and set off on a long tour to lick his spiritual wounds and calm the nervous tremors from the intense, promising gazes of the victorious duumvirate. He sat the whole way in his super-suite, hiccupped, and drank a cocktail of cognac, motherwort, and valerian.
Elvira Poimello also rushed as far as possible from her native soil. Her brazen embezzlement, astounding even for seen-it-all Russians, almost backfired on the lady when the enraged population of Paulburg, pulling the VIP person out of her Bentley, was just about to fasten her short neck to an aspen branch using a well-soaped rope... But chance helped: just at that moment, the media announced the victory of the Paulburg "Nadir" in the championship league.
The youngsters Hugo and Tupo caught Elvira's eye, as she gradually revived her spirits far from the nightmarish trees. Madame Poimello lured the hereditary princes, who adored beauty, to her cabin with promises to show amazing works of art from Paulburg's museums, gifted by the grateful population of the city she had benefited. The viewing dragged on for three days. Emerging from the mayor's cabin, the princes, transparent as shadows, barely crawled along the wall to their doors. For two days, no one could wake them.
Lyonya Gladky and Yevsey Ivanov, stripped of their parliamentary immunity for unwillingness to share, didn't wait for the domestic Themis to start brandishing its saber and took to their heels.
In general, the contingent was a combative, determined one...
2. The Way of Life on the Planet Sik-Stin-Ain
What is natural is not without orgasm!
(Folk wisdom of the planet Sik-Stin-Ain)
The planet's natives looked exactly like Earthlings.
"Welcome, dear guests, to the voluptuous planet Sik-Stin-Ain!" greeted the tourists at the gangway a white-toothed Negro, dressed in a tight-fitting golden suit, a hat with ostrich feathers, and with a short, thick dagger, or something. The thin fabric of the suit did not hide the outline of the Negro's mighty genitals. On his shoulders, he had something like epaulettes with black silk embroidery of intersecting broad swords with large guards. With a broad smile, the Negro made an indecent movement of his pelvis and said:
"Allow me to introduce myself, the Chief Erector of the empire, Fa-Kin-ger."
He bowed, and some of the dear guests examined the embroidery on his epaulettes. They were not swords, but erect members!
The Russian tourists didn't see anything. They didn't even notice the Negro himself, because just before landing they had celebrated their happy escape from earthly problems with an overly abundant libation.
The passengers followed the Chief Erector into a hall with a huge video screen.
"Gentlemen, make yourselves comfortable, now you will familiarize yourselves with the great culture and sacred traditions of our Voluptuous Empire."
The lights in the hall dimmed. A pair of natives — a man and a woman — appeared on the screen. Their attire differed from Fa-Kin-ger's only in its silvery color and insignia on the epaulettes. Well, and they didn't have thick daggers. The man's members were red and one and a half times smaller than the Negro's. On the woman's little epaulettes, small pink vaginas glistened moistly.
The "impression-filled" Russians, as soon as the lights went out in the hall, were overcome by drunken sleep.
The others heard amazing things from the pair on the screen.
On the planet Sik-Stin-Ain, an absolute monarchy has stood for nine thousand seven hundred and eighteen years. The current dynasty is only the second since the unification of all the planet's peoples under the mighty erection of Emperor Pe-N-is the First, who ruled for seventy-four years, eleven months, and nine days. His Great Erection Pe-N-is I deigned to depart for the Land of Eternal Orgasm at the age of one hundred and thirteen.
Since the founding of the empire, the Sikstinainians have lived freely, merrily, and happily, knowing no bloody battles or turmoil, engaging in love, not wars.
The currently reigning emperor Su-Nyhu-yvsem XCVII (ninety-seventh) bears the title: His Cosmic Erection, The Great And Mighty Unbending Phallus, Fertilizing The Flourishing Empire And The Suckling Lands, Generously Granting Seed To The Low And High, Exuding Honeyed Sperm Upon The Subjects, Protector Of Voluptuousness And Guarantor Of Orgasmic Pleasure. The crowned spouse of the emperor is Her Cosmic Whoredom, The Sweetest And Most Tender Vagina Of The Empire, Pleasuring The Great And Mighty Unbending Phallus, Receiving The Honeyed Sperm, Granting Orgasmic Pleasure To The Loyal Subjects, the sovereign lady O-Tso-si.
The address to the emperor in daily life: Your Eternal Unbendingness, Your Cosmic Erection; to the empress O-Tso-si: Your Voluptuous Womb, Your Cosmic Whoredom.
This information, somewhat unusual for Earthlings, was accompanied by a showing of Their Orgasmic Majesties, the heir to the throne His Rising Highness Prince-Ejaculant Ona-N-ist, and the grand dukes and duchesses.
A further excursion into the empire's life demonstrated living in the cities and villages of Voluptuous, spread across the sun-kissed continents of the planet. Life was very similar to Earth's, but without the atrocities of war, without poverty and destitution, without cold and snow, without the soot of factories and cars.
The main difference was the completely free and joyful, unrestricted cultivation of sex in all its details and particulars. Everyday sex, festive sex, sex for relaxation and paying homage, award sex. Classic sex, oral and anal sex, blue and pink sex, monosex and group sex. Monuments and sculptural compositions on city streets, wall paintings on buildings, even the trimming of trees and bushes — all depicted, one way or another, the main driving force of the empire.
Hugo of Yop and Tupo von Trachstein felt strong pressure in their trousers. The young Ero Tika, having slipped her hand under her short skirt, was already coming for the sixth time during the session. Her husband, on the contrary, was disappointed by the lack of business opportunities and politely yawned. The porn star Mini Phentis wilted, feeling as if she were back on a film set...
The Russian tourists were peacefully snoring...
In conclusion, the natives told about what is not accepted on their planet.
It turned out that engaging in politics in any form is extremely indecent; this shameful, depraved activity is universally despised. The law, however, is quite lenient towards depraved individuals. They are given no more than 18 years of solitary newspaper rewriting plus 5 forced orgasms daily. In case the convict is unable to achieve all five, they are assisted with electric shocks. However, for distributing politicography, filming politicographic films, or providing political services, the law is stricter. Such perverts face 15 to 25 years of rewriting and daily eightfold forced masturbation. But those who are punished mercilessly, with twelvefold forced daily masturbation and lifelong rewriting of the same newspaper, are the distributors of child politicography and those who involve minors in politics!
The Russian tourists were peacefully snoring...
3. The Interview
Finally, the imperial anthem thundered, and the presentation ended. A new native entered the hall, dressed in a tender light-green tight-fitting suit with green members on his epaulettes.
"Gentlemen, I am the Senior Erection Guard. You are to fill out questionnaires. Please answer the questions honestly."
The tourists, including the Russians yawning after sweet sleep, began to scribble on the paper intently.
An interview was indeed required.
The official with green members on his epaulettes knocked on the actress's room.
"Madam, I have one question. Explain, what is a 'porn star'?"
The astonished Mini blurted out:
"And you still ask?"
"?" — the official raised his eyebrows.
"Sorry. A porn star is a woman who acts in pornographic films."
"Madam, then explain, what does the word 'porno' mean?"
"But you yourselves have porn everywhere! It's the depiction of sexual intercourse..."
"And what, on Ze-M-la, they pay for that?!!" — the official's astonishment knew no bounds!
"And they pay very well!" — Miss Phentis noted proudly. "Though, not to everyone..."
"Why?"
"Well, how to explain to you... The thing is, it's considered extremely indecent for us to discuss publicly, let alone demonstrate, sexual intercourse..."
The official was stunned by what he heard.
"And what's wrong with that? Ah, I see... It's something like politicography?"
"For us, politicians are respected people; they, in fact, govern countries."
"Out of their minds..." — the Senior Guard shook his head ruefully. "Perverts in power..."
He stood at attention, kneaded his genitals with his palm, and when an erection became clearly apparent, solemnly declared:
"Deeply respected Madam Mini Phentis! I officially convey to you the highest invitation to a reception with His Eternal Unbendingness Su-Nyhu-yvsem XCVII, may his phallus stand for all eternity!"
The interview with Zilber Gold was brief.
"Mr. Gold, what are 'stock market operations'?"
The billionaire began to explain. But since speculation was not within the natives' circle of concepts, the Senior Erection Guard did not grasp anything from his explanation. He interrupted the financial tycoon:
"I wish you a good rest, Mr. Gold! I will send a tourism bureau erector to you."
"And what about my wife?"
"Madam Ero Naomi Tika has been honored with the highest invitation to a reception with His Eternal Unbendingness Su-Nyhu-yvsem XCVII, may his phallus stand for all eternity!" — of course, the official uttered this phrase after first invigorating his reproductive organ.
"Alone, without me?"
"Such is the will of His Cosmic Erection the Emperor!"
Returning to his office, the official summoned his secretary-erector.
"Sweetie, quickly gather me information on politicography," he ordered the buxom girl who entered, dressed in light green, on whose shoulders the green little epaulettes were adorned with moistly gleaming pink vaginas. "I'm interested in what kind of special perverts these are: democrats, liberals, presidents, communists, mayors... deputies. Yes, and how they do these... what are they... elections! What is a parliament? Is it a place where they have orgies? Wait a minute... Here's another kind of filth..."
The Senior Erection Guard glanced at the questionnaire.
"Gu-ber-na-tor... Ugh, you'll break your tongue! Well, come