The letter G to the left side

This story happened in real life. Maybe my memory embellished some events, but the essence is conveyed.

I'm on sick leave. Standard set of ARVI. The third week is underway, and the temperature is holding above 38°C. Well, and the doctor prescribes me an antibiotic. Okay, if it's necessary, then it's necessary. I'm taking this abomination, my wife is sleeping in the next room, I don't want to wake her, decided to turn on some porn to jerk off.

The video was good, everything instantly stood up. I reach my hand into my pants, and I feel something's off. It's somehow bigger than usual. And kind of softer, even though it was hard. I think, what's going on. Well, screw it. With a fever, all sorts of hallucinations happen.

So, I'm shifting gears on my gearbox, but the dick keeps getting bigger. And somehow even the touch became irritating, and it felt wrong to the touch. I look down, I see a picture: a swollen one-eyed serpent bent into the letter G to the left. On the right, a kind of skin blister of a very unpleasant appearance is visible.

From the picture, the hair in my armpits and other places slowly begins to stir, and on my head, it slowly turns gray. I think, what to do with it. Jerking off already seems kind of scary, and the bastard doesn't want to go down — it just stands firmer and swells even more, bending into a G.

After 5 minutes it became scary, and after 15 it became very frightening — would it burst. Then I thought, I need my wife to take a look. What if it's just hallucinations from the meds or the fever. I go to her, like, wife, look at my dick. She opens her eyes, sees the picture, faints.

I realized it wasn't my imagination. We call an ambulance. About 30 minutes later they arrived — two young girls. To say they were barely holding back laughter is an understatement, but they tried to keep their faces as serious as possible and speak exclusively in medical terms.

We went to the hospital. There, one doctor examined me first. Also young, with a smart look like that. So, she felt everything, asked all sorts of things, left to think. Another doctor came. A guy about 40, balding, with glasses. Also looked with a smart look like that, twisted it, asked the same smart questions, left. About 10 minutes later, they sent me to the treatment room, gave me an injection (something for allergies), put me on a drip. In short, this swelling happened due to an allergy to the new medication.

I'm lying there, on the drip, the swollen club slowly deflates, taking on the correct shape, shrinking to the usual size during excitement. And I'm thinking, they're probably laughing, those paramedics, doctors, nurses, the driver. What haven't they seen in their lives, and then this on top. I don't mind, I like it when people are happy. The main thing is, everything ended well, nothing tore off or burst. The G-shaped dick in my pants haunted my dreams for a couple more nights. I wonder, did it haunt the medics too?